“What did you just say?” It’s a question I find myself yelling at my newsfeed all too often. After another bizarre claim about migrants or women or trans folk I find myself wanting to do anything but listen. How could I and maybe more importantly, should I, be listening when the speaker is so off base? This is a question I am sure many of us share these days. And like me, after yelling at the radio (or the information source of your choosing) you may choose to simply turn off the noise. “Nothing worth hearing here!”  And clearly, none of us should have to listen to rhetoric that is harmful or denigrates others.

And (you saw this “and” coming, didn’t you?), and this is where “deep listening” as a spiritual practice can be vital. Listening deeply to another is NOT about condoning what they say but neither is it about dismissing what they are saying. In fact what they are saying on the surface is not the main focus of deep listening. Deep listening is about listening to hear “the rest of the story.” Often, when someone speaks, especially if they do so with anger or strong emotion, the deeper fears and hurts underneath their words are hidden.

We don’t have to agree with what another is saying however, the more we can hear the human behind the words, the more our own hearts can be opened with compassion. When someone feels deeply, compassionately heard they are more likely to be willing and able to also hear what another has to say.  I firmly believe real justice work must include compassion and that compassionate, deep listening is one of our primary tools to achieve lasting justice.

When it comes to listening to hate-filled speech where we are not in direct dialogue, it can still be a powerful practice to try to listen to the other with curiosity. Something in their own lives has led them to the position they now hold. Most likely that something involved their own emotional pain. We do not have to agree or condone or even subject ourselves to endless rants, but if we can practice deep, compassionate listening, we may find that our own hearts feel more free and better equipped to be a force for creating peace in our world.

What do you think?

In Spirit, Rev. Deborah