With the recent passing of President Jimmy Carter I have been thinking a lot about the stories that we tell about each other. While watching a documentary about President Carter I was reminded that even former Presidents have little control over these narratives and it made we wonder, can a story ever really be fully true? Are our lives, to some degree, in the hands of others as they recount our stories for their own purposes?

We live in a culture obsessed with story. I don’t know the numbers but I would guess a good number of people spend a fair amount of time entertained by a story of some kind. Whether through a book, magazine article, movie or podcast, stories fill our days – not to mention the stories we tell to others about our friends/relatives/neighbors? When the story is clearly fiction and used for entertainment all is well and good, but what about when the story is actually someone else’s life? What impact does our one sided perspective have?

I plead guilty to the charge of being entertained by other people’s tragedies as described by voices on a podcast. And I have mixed feelings about it all. Part of me knows I am not getting the entire true story. The story is produced for entertainment value and I cringe to think of the real people who may be harmed as their lives are misrepresented by another’s story telling. And yet I keep listening…..

And though I rail against the news media that seems to feel the need to entertain by telling stories from only one vantage point as if there were only one possible vantage point, I admit I rarely seek out the story of those with whom I disagree.

We all know that every story is told from a point of view and we understand that it is virtually impossible to recount any story without missing at least part of the truth. I’m always fascinated when my daughters recount stories from an event in their childhood’s and they have totally different recollections about what happened, which of course of totally different from my own!

So what are we to do?

This month as I dive into “the practice of story” I’ve decided to pay special attention to the perspective from which the story is told. Whether the report of an event that hits the news cycle or a story a friend tells about someone else in their lives, I’m going to ask: “What is the rest of the story?” I may not be able to hear all the perspectives of everyone in the story and I may not get all the facts but perhaps by simply asking the question I will remind myself that every story is truly only part of a story.

Perhaps as I give space for the many silent perspectives that are untold in every story I will begin to be less entertained and more curious. Less sure of my opinion about the story and the people in it and more interested in the impact of the story on those involved. My hope is to grow my compassion and understanding. Maybe I will even extend that compassion and understanding to the stories I tell about myself.

I invite you to join me in this exploration and together let’s see how our story about stories unfolds!

Honoring the Rest of Your Story,

Rev. Deborah